On the Eve of My 28th
I had a long conversation with God last night. It’s been a while and he was surprised I dropped by to chat. As soon as I said Hello it was as if we had never stopped talking. A lot has happened just in the past month to make me come to terms with my life and who I am at the moment. It’s been me in touch with my own mortality and of those around me. For one, since I was out of town for most of this month because of the wedding and Ms. Rita, I feel like time is no longer standing still but rushing past me in some kind of mad, blind, frenzy into the unknown. And I can’t stop it. I almost welcome it. On the eve of my 28th, I’m not as afraid as I used to be. I simply don’t care. Life has afforded me a few lessons this past year. I trust people less now than I ever did. I don’t know if that is a good thing but it keeps me well-insulated from the horrors of what people can do to each other. On the eve of my 28th, I emerge battle-scarred, cynical, curt, and hopeless but wise. Ignorance was bliss and I forsook it for knowledge’s sake. I know God is disappointed in me. He didn’t have to say anything but I knew. It will be a long time before I can trust and even love again. One the eve of my 28th, I refuse to be blinded by the ill intentions of evil people. There is such a thing as trusting too much. I suppose things can change but for me, now, it may take a while. On the eve of my 28th, I go forth armed with one lesson, and one lesson alone: proceed with caution.
